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Sexy Abraham Lincoln Costume - It's Babe-raham Lincoln

by Rain Blanken, DIY Fashion Expert for About.com

Sexy Abraham Lincoln Costume
Because what's sexier than a bearded lady? A bearded lady with power, that's what.

In a five year quest to create the most sexy costume possible, I've been challenged in 2013. After all, here is my competition:

Junior Girl Scouts (the ones who wear green) are between the ages of 9 and 11. Wearing this costume, you could effortlessly fulfill the fantasy of the man across the room who wants a 4th grader to visit to his front door. She's selling cookies as a way to learn leadership and business skills. But... she is wearing a skirt, so maybe she's here for something more??

Thank you, Sexy Girl Scout costume. Thank you for opening the door to so many costume possibilities for women. Last year, the ridiculous Sexy Gizmo made my Hot Trash costume possible. I was the hottest bag of festering garbage in town. This year, Sexy Girl Scout has liberated women's costumes to new standards for sexy! If grade school girls aren't off limits, anything is possible. I give you:

Sexy Abraham Lincoln

Or, Not-So-Honest Abe. Or, Babe-raham Lincoln.


Miley-style with my inspiration.

Since anything in a pair of fishnets now passes for a scintillating sexpot, it is high time ol' Abe got his due. Yes, the age has finally dawned to emancipate Abraham Lincoln into the glory of smokin' hot Halloween costume status. You've arrived, Mr. President!

What Makes a Sexy Abe Lincoln?

Of course, it is that provocative stovepipe hat and oh-so kissable beard that really turns up the heat on this ensemble. Oh, the looks of desire my husband turned upon me as he gazed into the fervor of that well-groomed bristle. Especially after I ate mashed potatoes and they dried in my beard. Beat that, Sexy Girl Scout.

Now, you may need a few minutes to calm yourself and blot the sweat from your forehead. I recognize the power of this sensuous vision. Please, for the sake of the circuits in your keyboard, take a break if needed. Collect yourself before reading on.


High and tight.

For some unfathomable reason, I couldn't find a pair of high-waisted hot pants in the lingerie store. Weird! But I just had to have that sultry look of a pair of breeches hiked up to my breasts. It's the look so many hungered for in the days of Lincoln, and on dates with Blanche from Golden Girls. I eventually made my own from a pair of work slacks, wearing them on my ribs and hemmed up as high as the spirit of Betsy Ross advised.

I assembled the hat, beard, shirt, boots, and fishnets from my own closet and our costume box. If you're short on beards, you can make one using Barbie hair, or crochet a yarn beard.

Hot Wilkes Booth

Of course, no Sexy Abe Lincoln costume is complete without her John Wilkes Booth. What? Too soon?


Take Lincoln's advice and don't drink anything she offers to you.

In the great taxonomy of things, you have your Lincolns and your Booths. My friend Nikki is decidedly a Booth. That naughty Booth's costume is made from a sheet and an altered vest; cut and stitched to sexy perfection. What lusty soul wouldn't want to get in those white cotton breeches?


Great Presidents, like Girl Scouts, are in season.

I made a kind of tube top out of the sheet, a simple design with elastic on the top. The arm bands are just tubes with elastic on each end, and the breeches were modeled after a pair of Nikki's shorts, using the same pattern-making method in my Pajama Pants tutorial.

Painting the Town Red as Sexy Abe Lincoln & Hot Wilkes Booth

Just as the Sexy Girl Scout costume teaches respect for entrepreneurial nine-year-old girls at Halloween parties across America, we made history come alive throughout the evening at Highball Halloween in downtown Columbus, Ohio, spreading tales of Lincoln's integrity and the consequences of senseless violence against our American heroes.


Sexy Abe Lincoln and Hot Wilkes Booth arrive at Highball Halloween in Columbus

We created a puffy shirt and arm poofs for Booth as well. We really strived to give her that full coverage in the breast area that men simply go wild for.

The mustache and goatee are of course the crème de la crème of the Hot Wilkes Booth costume. She flashed that patch all over the streets of Columbus, and caught more than a few gentlemen giving her the eye. There was a fiery passion that alighted in every heated look that wandered between the forms of Lincoln and Booth.


The crowd shielded their eyes so that the light of our seduction would not blind them.

My apologies to those Halloween costumes that have ruled the sexy scene thus far. Hot Luigi, Sexy Sponge Bob, and yes, even you, Sexy Care Bear; it appears that your reign of seduction has come to an end. But all good things (and cleavage) eventually shrivel and disappear like the legs of a witch under a well-placed house (after a 16-year-old girl drops it on her. You know, Sexy Dorothy.)

Thanks, Sexy Girl Scout. You're revolting enough to start a revolt.


Four score and seven beers ago...

If we looked lost and disoriented by the end of the night, it was exhaustion from collecting so many phone numbers.

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