Would You Wear it? Swim 2013 Fashion Week

The Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Swim 2013 event happens exactly where you expect it to. Forget the New York City streets, with mind-blowing bikinis in the queue, this show is destined to kick-off in hot, sweaty, spicy Miami Beach.

Now, deciding whether or not you'd actually wear some of the crazy concoctions that float down the runway is one thing, but swimwear? Throw the half-naked factor into the mix and we've got some real pondering to do. Let's take a look at a few of the styles from my favorite show, A.Z Araujo.

Number 1:

I had to show this one first, because it might be the most provocative piece at the show. Even a string bikini couldn't be as scintillating as this one-piece. I think it's one piece, anyway. Call it the chicken nugget swimsuit; I'll have the 6-piece.

Number 2:

I feel like this swimsuit should just come with a butt. A nice, dimple-free, pre-tanned butt that I can just, you know, wear over my actual, pale butt. I have a great butt, don't get me wrong, but let's face it. This is the butt of a writer, people. It's not what you'd call a 'Miami butt', like we've got here. Hey, A.Z Araujo, does the Miami Butt come standard on the 2013 Flossmaster??

Number 3:

Next up, I have to admit my love for this one. Sure, it's pretty much cheating because the top is more like, well, a shirt, but this is a look that I could really get into. Not exactly suitable for watersports or scuba diving, mind you, but damn if I wouldn't look good sipping a drink on the beach with the implied notion that I might actually get into the water. I think this is a Beachkini. It's just for the beach.

Number 4:

Who could imagine that this kind of bum coverage could come from the same designer that brought us the Flossmaster not just two paragraphs ago? One of the many reasons I love A.Z Araujo is the variety of his designs. The bloomers turn this into an old fashioned swimsuit, and I do so cherish that Olive Oyl poolside style. Throw a tankini on this and you've got yourself a bonafide pajama party on the water.

Number 5:

Last but not least, I have to show you this one. Inexplicably different from the rest of the runway features, this beautiful model struts out to strike a pose, awash in fabulous gold tones. How much fun is she having? She answers, "It's off the charts, honey".

Let's get to the voting! We want to know which one you'd wear... or any at all. Tell us why in the comments of this post.